One brownie, a glass of Shiraz, a leather couch. Then here.

Right now, I am home in my bed. I should be sleeping because I need to wake up at four to go to work, but I am not sleeping. Instead, I am blogging because - oh, how I have missed you! - and not because you are a blog or because you are the reader of a blog or even because I need people to read and "know me". I've missed the writing, the capture of details, of emotions, and meaning.

So, I will detail what is around me and then I will fall asleep (in all honesty, I really love making lists after my experimental fiction class had an assignment. Is really quite fun - would you be willing to try one?)

My phone is to my right, balanced on the upper corner of my mattress so that when it rings in the morning I have easy access to it (in an effort not to wake up my roommates). The phone is a cherry red Samsung with a small scratch beneath the "alltel" symbol and various other, slight scratches along the edges (presumably from dropping it over and again). It has a camera that does not work well.

My knees are up and my computer props against them. I'm nearly completely covered by a quilt that was made by someone very dear to me for my 20th birthday. It is colorful, with stripes of greens and yellows, blues, pinks, white, and red. The border is a dull green color with small white dots that remind me of birds.

And as special as my quilt is, what is really important is the blanket beneath my head. It props me up to read and write at night, but when I sleep it covers me. This blanket is misshapen, and one side is completely worn through. It is the blanket my Grandma Helen made out of scrap material for me when I was six or seven. She died soon afterward, and it'll be difficult to part with it when I get married. The only aspect about storing the blanket that appeases me is that if it is in good enough condition and if I have a daughter, she will be able to use it and love it like I have.

Then, I have this computer I type on.

Then, I have my engagement ring.

And, I stare at white metal rods above me. I sleep on a bottom bunk. Our room is messy.

I have tried to write tonight. There are so many, many things to talk about and there is such little mental endurance right now. And for that, I apologize. Tonight is an effort. It is not my best.

And with that, goodnight to you all. Best of dreams, best of sleep.